#Wishsomeonehadtoldme – My Google Phone

English: Google Nexus S - Samsung Android Phone

Image via Wikipedia

I like my Google Android. Don’t like the little green man that inhabits it. But I do have the option of downloading an app that allows me to play dress-up with him, so the minor disgruntlement might become moot.

But there are things I wish someone had told me when I acquired the phone. Public Service Announcements if you will. So today, I am passing on the garnered wisdom of a single month of use. With luck, I’m also putting a bug into a developer’s ear that will improve life for us all!

Two Exterior Buttons = Kaput

Note the slight extension on the left hand side of the Android depicted above. There is a similar, but slightly smaller extension on the right hand side, slightly higher up than the one on the left. The right hand extension is the power on/off button. The left is a mode button. If the two buttons are pressed at the same time, the phone goes into a crisis mode that delivers code messages and the little green man, but absolutely nothing else. The phone is kaput.

For the first month, this happened to me on a frustratingly regular basis. Because – this is the truly important part – because when I hold the phone in the palm of my hand my thumb naturally sits on the mode button and my pointer finger on the power button.  Without intent, when I activated the phone I activated the mode button at the same time wreaking Android havoc. If my fingers were longer, the problem wouldn’t exist! Ergonomics, ergoshomics!

Clearing the browser cache

Some evil tweep mentioned me in tweet. I fell for the ego stroke, and clicked on the URL embedded in the mention. Got Spam. Spam that would not go away, no matter what I pressed. So I had to Google, clearing the Android URL history. What a pain!

You have to use your browser’s tools to clear the history, which means with a Google phone, you have to log in to your account and follow a series of permission steps before you are successful. I suppose the process is to protect me, but please…does it have to be so time consuming and clunky?

You’ve been warned.

Malicious Virus Attacks: #I’vehadafew

I think I’ve reached the third level of Geekdom – and I’m proud of it! Last week, a trojan virus hijacked my computer, replacing my desired websites with unwanted, unnecessary ones. Darn scary! So I called Nephew #3. Mature beyond his years – and more than 1,000 miles away – his advice to me, “Get yourself to the Geek Squad and have a professional take care of it.”

Being an instant gratification kind of gal, I didn’t want to wait 18 hours, for the Geek Squad to open its doors, so I called India – I mean McAfee‘s Help Desk. You see, I had run a McAfee scan that recognized the virus but couldn’t remove it. [Yes, I was irked.] I paid the big bucks, and the very patient Antony took control of my computer and exorcised the little devil that had been plaguing me.

All went well, until yesterday, when another malicious invention of a soulless hacker hijacked my computer, again! This was sophisticated. It was all dressed up like a form of Microsoft anti-virus software. But as I had reached the second level of Geekdom, I knew it was evil, like Simon Cowell, impeccably dressed on the outside and mean on the inside.

Really irked with McAfee, which was up-to-date and telling me there were no threats to my computer, I womaned-up, accepting that if I wasn’t part of the solution I was part of the problem.

The virus my primary laptop had contracted hijacked my web browser. I could not get back online. I’m running three different laptops on a wireless network – yes I spend way too much time online, but it is what social media integration specialists do!

My bed became the battleground. I’ve read Sun Tzu‘s the Art of War – battles are best fought on familiar territory. Besides, it is the only space I have large enough to run two laptops at the same time.

I googled the name of the virus, and found a self-help site with absolutely first-rate instructions that even a Level 2 Geek like me could understand. The first step was the proper way to turn on the infected laptop! Gosh durn it, how smart is that!

It took me two and a half hours, 3 FREE software downloads, and transfers, but I did it. I conquered the beast, and claimed my Geekhood!

Go ahead, pump that fist in the air. I am woman hear me roar!